A loving kitten rescued by a perceived black ghost is taken to his new home and accidentally misnamed Twitter. In gratitude, he dedicates his life (unsuccessfully) to security patrolling, running a well-ordered household, and advising. Twitter misremembers the adages and famous literary quotations taught to him by his feline mother, but he uses them to deal with ant invasions, sneaky green lizards, his toy's murder/funeral, a character-flawed cat's intrusion into the household, and more. He triumphs over daily madcap conflicts and emails it all to his owner's dopey mother. Lives change when a book agent discovers the tea-stained emails, publishes them, and sends Twitter and his G-Ma on a book-signing tour. To keep it secret, an unscrupulous friend puts his name on their advance money's checking account and helps them buy travel supplies. Their getaway is thwarted only twenty-five miles from home when they are arrested, paw and finger printed, and jailed. The surprise ending contains a tearful email from their jail cell. This humorous book will delight cat lovers and readers who are able to spot the twisted adages and misquoted famous literary references throughout each chapter.