"From Funny Or Die senior writer and former artistic director at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre comes a collection of absurdist, hilarious stories and essays on relationships, technology, and contemporary society. A brave archaeologist journeys into a suburban man cave. Leif Eriksson writes Christopher Columbus a long overdue letter. A corporate flack admonishes a room of marijuana sales people to get their revenues up. A young man's penis turns into a lobster. Walt Whitman even teaches a spin class. With humor, originality, and narrative guile, Nate Dern examines man buns, dating apps, Wi-Fi terms and conditions, juicing crazes, vegetarianism, and so much more, all while plumbing his own life and a series of fantastical scenarios for a truth that's both revelatory and beautiful."--Jacket.